Message Board

how to reply to child who refers to something in language of partner (OPOL)

brian — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:30:21 GMT

hi! this is my first time checking out the site. my wife and i live in japan, and we are here for the long haul. she is japanese, and i am american. in our interactions, we have always used japanese, and my japanese is decidedly better than my wife's english.

we have a daughter who has just turned 16 months old, and we generally adhere to a "one person, one language" house policy--although i am less strict about that when we interact outside with japanese neighbors, and sometimes slip into japanese even at home if i am not careful! (in fact, i had initially thought that i would use japanese even at home, as it seems far more natural: it was my wife who convinced me that english would be important for our daughter to interact with her american family and for me to explain many cultural concepts from my side of the family.) i often read to our daughter in english (and never in japanese); my wife has read to herin english, only to be greeted with a quizzical expression(since which time she has reverted more or less to japanese-only).

recently, our daughter has become very talkative. it's a really exciting time: she has a morning ritual when she wakes up of pointing to various things in the room and reciting their names or "greeting" them as best she can. she has thus far said very little that is recognizable as english or japanese words, apart from "papa" and "mama" and some characters (mickey mouse; hello kitty; anpanman; and pooh), but she seems to be on the cusp (she nearly managed "apple" this morning, or at least a reasonably close approximation).

my question is: does anyone ever have the experience of having their child refer to some object in the language of the other partner? in that case, what do you guys do? for example, our girl points to the light and says something close to "denki", the japanese word for it. i rephrase in english (e.g., "yes, that's a light"); in some cases, i think i've prefaced my recast with acknowledgement of the japanese word. just curious if people have any opinions on this subject.

thanks in advance for any ideas!

Forum: Your Questions -- General

our trilingual experience so far

Chris — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 07:35:40 GMT

We are Americans living in Beijing, China. Mom grew up monolingual but has learned Mandarin since coming to China, Dad grew up bilingual , plus a high school French. Dad along the way picked up smatterings of several European languages , then studied Russian in Moscow after university, and has learned Mandarin since coming to China.

FF to kids: both born in China , household languages are:
Ayi to everyone: Mandarin
Mom to kids: English
Mom to Ayi: Mandarin
Dad to kids: Russian
Parents to each other: English
Community language: mostly Mandarin

Our #1 child spoke almost entirely in Mandarin until she was almost 2. She understood English and also Russian to a lesser extent , but it was not until we took a family trip to Hong Kong and she saw a community of English speakers that she began to speak English . At this time, she is balanced between English and Mandarin, and her Russian is a bit weaker. To combat this, we have enrolled her in a Russian preschool and primarily allow her to watch Russian DVDs . She has been there 4 months now, and at this point can understand almost everything and is beginning to slowly start to speak in Russian while at school. Mom is also learning a few words of Russian

#2 is barely beginning to talk at 18 months. He does have several words in English and Mandarin, but nothing intelligible in Russian yet ; we are planning to send him to the Russian preschool somewhere between 30-36 months of age.

Our #1 speaks to her brother in all 3 languages -- again, primarily English and Mandarin, but when she is "babytalking" with him, she includes lots of Russian sounds .

Our goals for the kids include staying in China until they can acquire basic literacy in Mandarin as well as English and Russian. We expect that basic English and Russian literacy will be relatively easy to acquire .

Forum: Your Stories

Are 3 languages at this point the right thing to do?

Katerina — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:49:59 GMT

Hi everybody!
I live in Sweden for the last 8 years, but I come from Greece and I'm married with a swedish man for the last 5 years. We have 2 adorable girls, the older one is two-and-a-half years old and the other 5 months old. I have a big interest in literature, history, mythology, I like books in general and from the beginning my aim has been to strengthen the minority language (greek) as much as possible. I speak strictly greek with my children, read greek books to them, sing greek songs together, have a lot of contact and visits to my family in Greece. My husband has also been trying to learn greek under this period so he has been talking until now both the languages with me and the children. Our older daughter has not been going to any playschool in Sweden, she's been at home with me. The result until now is that she speaks fluently greek with rich vocabulary and even recognises all alphabet, etc. but speaks no swedish. She is going to start at playschool in some months and I ponder how it will be. There are a couple of playgrounds in our city which are bilingual swedish/english and the big question for me is if this would be too much for our daughter. I would rather avoid the classical swedish playgrounds; I want our daughter to get a wider education and point of view for the world and in my own opinion the classical swedish playgrounds are very narrowminded. We are not sure if we are going to stay in Sweden either so the idea of a bilingual playschool is more familiar to me.
But the big question is: will it be too much for our daughter to be simultaneously exposed to 2 more languages except greek (one familiar just by hearing at home, but not able to speak yet -swedish- and one totally new -english-)? Can this harm her psychologically? She is an adorable child with a lot of energy and interest to the other children but she always a bit shy when she meets new people and things. Please help me with your opinion!

Forum: Your Questions -- General

Research on non-native bilingualism (need your help)!

Irina B. — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:33:54 GMT

Hello everyone!

I am so glad I found this web-site and forum with the topic that is also the topic of my Master's research project! I am looking for parents who raise their children bilingually speaking a language that is neither their native language, nor the community language (children preferably older than 4). If you would be willing to fill out a questionnaire (it has two parts: in part one I need you to assess your own level of language skills and in part two you will need to answer questions about your child's speech development, your approach, difficulties and joys of this unique situation - about 40 questions), please contact me at jdimples@yandex.ru, I would really appreciate your help! Questionnaires are available in English or German.

To introduce myself: my husband and I come originally from Kazakhstan (native language Russian), both are fluent in English and German (we moved to Germany 5 years ago). Our daughter is nearly 2 and we speak German and Russian to her (OPOL), planning to switch to only Russian at home when she starts kindergarten. We were considering speaking English to her, but for a number of reasons decided not to. Personally, I still think, it is possible to raise a child bilingually even with a non-native language. I believe this method deserves to be investigated and described, so I chose it as the subject of my research.

I haven't had a chance yet to see all the threads here and maybe someone has already mentioned it, but here is a great book written by an Australian who raised his children bilingual speaking non-native German to them:
George Saunders, Bilingual Children: From Birth to Teens
I think it can help many of you here who have concerns because of the "artificial" nature of the situation.

If you have any questions, I will be happy to share what I already learned!
I hope someone can help me!

Forum: Non-native Speakers

my 3 year old reluctant to speak in her second language (cantonese)

Maggie — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:28:37 GMT

Hi,

We are trying to bring our 3 year old daughter up billingually. My mother tongue is English and I speak to her in English almost all of the time (with a very few simly words and phrases in Cantonese - I limit this as my accent is terrible). My husband speaks to her in Cantonese all of the time (he is a native speaker from Hong Kong). We live in the UK and she has just started attending nursery so she is hearing English almost all of the time. My husband works long hours so she spends limited time with him. Up until she was about 2 years and 9 months she would answer back in Cantonese when my husband spoke to her but recently she has been answering back in English and has been quite reluctant to speak in Cantonese. Her speech in English has become far more sophisticated recently so she automatically wants to speak in English as she can now express herself far more clearly in this language Does anyone have any ideas as to how we can encourage her to speak in Cantonese more?

I have two older children 11 and 14 years who speak and understand very little Cantonese due to my husband working away from home a lot when they were little so she is also speaking with them in English too. They also speak to their dad in English as they know so little Cantonese. I think my 3 year old is wondering why she is the only person that my husband is speaking cantonese to. We have no other relatives here and only manage to spend 2 weeks a year in Hong Kong.

She watches a lot of Cantonese dvds whch I think is helping. Does anyone know of any software in cantonese or websites (such as the equivalent of cbeebies) in cantonese?

I would appreciate any advice as my husband any I have already failed to bring up our older children billingually and are very keen that it shouldn't happen with our youngest child.

Thanks
Maggie

Forum: Your Questions -- General

Does your bilingual/multilingual child have a "strong" language?

Adina — Thur, 25 Feb 2010 18:07:27 GMT

I have been asked by the school which is my daughter's strongest language? Their advise was that a child should be proficient in one language and know it very well before learning another one, they explained that otherwise the child will end up not knowing well any language...

My daughter is 5 and will go to school in September 2010. She speaks Romanian, English and German ( we are Romanians, she was born in New Zealand and came to Austria when she was 3) . At 3 she would talk mostly in English although her language was less developed than other children's at her age, and she could say simple sentences in Romanian too . Now, at 5, she has learnt German at kindergarten.
Honestly I could not say which is her strongest or preferred language, she speaks German with her friends, English and Romanian at home,mixing it a lot.

One of my friend's son,with a similar situation, was rejected from a viennese bilingual school because " he is language confused "..

I would like to hear opinions on this as I am a little worried ..

Forum: Your Questions -- General

Gaelic, English and French?

Albannach — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:51:23 GMT

Hello,

We are both trilingual, speaking Gaelic, English and French. Our first baby is due in August. It is very important that the child is a native speaker of Gaelic and English (my wife has Gaelic as L1 and English as L2; I am the other way around. French is L3 for both of us).

As long as we live in an Anglophone environment, Gaelic will the majority language of the home - the child will learn English easily enough from the community.

I would also like to speak French to the child for two days per week. (Je le parle couramment). I am aware of the recent debates on this board about the relative merits of speaking non-native languages to children... As such I do realise that I am not French and that without actually moving to France, my child would not be culturally French or fluent to native-speaker level. However, my goal would be to make the child comfortably, conversationally fluent in the language. Two days of French per week would, I hope, give the child a massive headstart in terms of later schooling, travel in France etc.

Has anyone on this board tried to do something similar? The OPOL method does make a great deal of sense - but is it achievable for one parent to consistently speak two languages?

Merci, thanks, tapadh leibh dhuibh uile,

Albannach

Forum: Non-native Speakers

one parent 2 languages?

Ekaterini — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:38:27 GMT

Hi,

I will have my first baby girl in the next couple of days. My husband and I agree to raise our child at least bilingual.
Our situation is this:

Mom - native German, native Greek (with loads of missing grammar and vocabulary), non-native English
Dad - native English
Mom and Dad to each other - English
currently living in Germany
one half-sister (from my husbands first marriage) currently living with us - native English

As half of my family is Greek I would like my child to learn German as well as Greek. We could be moving to the States at some point, possibly before our daughter starts school. Our first idea was that I talk German and my husband talks English to our child. Although I am not sure my husband could reach the recommended 30% exposure of English to our child as he is working long hours at the office. 1st 'problem' I have is that I don't know if I can fit Greek anywhere in the daily plan...would it be too much of a hassle and too complicated for me to speak half a day German and half a day Greek to my child?
Also, I would have to talk English to my husband and my stepchild.
Say I speak Greek in the morning hours until around lunch time and switch to German the afternoon half of the day. When my stepchild comes home from school I speak English to her, while still speaking German to my baby girl. Finally my husband comes home which whom I speak English too. Sounds confusing to me...could it work anyways?
I've heard from an elementary school teacher (native English) who spoke German to her daughter whenever they were driving in the car. Is that an approach to take, to speak a minority language (in our case Greek) for example on the weekends and whenever I am with my Dad (native Greek) or even just adding a 'play-time' every day for a few hours speaking only Greek?? Does anyone have experience with this?

My biggest fear is, that I am too ambitious to begin with and can't follow up with my big plans in my daily life.
Any ideas? Thanks for any replies

Forum: Family Language Systems

Don't know where to start!

Corinne — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 14:17:29 GMT

Hi Everyone

I'm mom to a 13-month old boy and would like to raise him to be multi-lingual (tri-lingual at the very least) but I am confused about how to go about doing it. I would appreciate any advice / info that can help.

Our goal is to have our kid(s) to be fluent in English, Chinese and German, as well as 1 other Chinese dialect, either Cantonese or Hokkien.

This is our situation:
1. I'm Singaporean-Chinese and my husband is German.
1.1. My primary language is English, 2nd language is Chinese (able to manage simple conversations, but generally not good in it and unable to use it on a 24/7 basis due to lack of vocab). I can comprehend basic French, German, Cantonese and Hokkien (a Chinese dialect). I used to be fluent in Cantonese but lost the ability to speak it when our Cantonese-speaking nanny retired and we started to speak English exclusively at home.

1.2. My husband's mother tongue is German, 2nd language is English (is very fluent in it).

1.3. My mom (i.e. baby's maternal grandmother) is fluent in English, Chinese and Cantonese but has a preference for speaking English. I have been trying to get her to speak to baby in Cantonese but she often forgets. She usually stays over with us alternate weeks for 3-4 days at a time and will help to baby sit during that time.

1.4. My dad (i.e. baby's maternal grandfather) is fluent in English, Chinese and Hokkien but has a preference for speaking English. He usually speaks to baby in English, though I have asked him to speak in Hokkien. Among all of us listed here, he spends the least time with baby (max 2 - 3 hours per week).

2. We currently live in Singapore where the community language is English, with different races having their own mother tongues i.e. Chinese, Malay and Tamil / Hindi. There is a possibility that we may eventually move to Germany or another English-speaking country, e.g. UK or USA.

3. Since baby's birth, we've managed on a somewhat crippled OPOL system:
    3.1. Husband speaks mostly German to baby unless we are with company. But he watches an English language DVD (Your Baby Can Read!) with baby on a fairly regular basis.
   3.2. I speak mostly English (80%) to baby with a smattering of Chinese (20%).
   3.3. Between my husband and I, we speak English.
   3.4. If I'm speaking with my mother and baby is present, the languages used can be a mix of English, Chinese and Cantonese at any given time.
   3.5. We've noticed that when baby learns a word in English, a short weeks later, he will be able to associate the same German word with it if used repeatedly. E.g. learnt the word 'clap' - matched with action of clapping hands, some weeks later after some repetition, is able to associate German word 'Klatschst' with the same action.

Questions / issues:
1. Is the system that we use ok or too confusing for baby? Is there a better way to go about it?

2. Should we focus on just English, Chinese and German and forget about the dialect?

3. Since Chinese is probably the minority language in our case, how can we best teach it to him?

4. How can we prepare for a possible move to Germany and not lose his grasp of Chinese when we live in a non-Chinese speaking environment?

5. Can someone recommend good German / Chinese resources for teaching baby? Are there any good audio books / DVDs (similar to Your Baby Can Read!) available?

6. We are on the verge of combining a flexi day-care programme with an accompanied parent-child programme which will start when baby turns 18 months. We hope to continue with a similar system till he is 6 years old, with the parent-child programme eventually becoming a nursery/kindergarten programme. This system is described below and we're not sure if it's too confusing for baby:
- Day-care centre, 3 or 5 days per week (either half or full day): Teaches English and Chinese
- Accompanied parent-child programme (I will go with him), 2 hours, 2 days per week at international school: Choice of predominately German or predominately English.
Eventually this programme will be replaced by a nursery / kindergarten programme (which will gradually increase from 3 half days to 5 half days) in either English or German when he turns 3 or 4 years old.

7. We are in a dilemma with regards to future formal education if we continue to live in Singapore. We have a choice of using local schools where he will learn only English and Chinese or international school where he will learn English and German, and possibly Chinese if there is sufficient demand to start a class.

Hence, this influences the decision we make regarding his present day-care arrangements. We are concerned that if we omit either German or Mandarin at this age, he might be disadvantaged when he starts primary school (7 years old) at either a local or international school.

I hope my queries are clear. Thanks for reading and for any advice that you may have!

Best regards,
Corinne

1. Country you live in: Singapore
2. Languages the family speaks: Mainly English, some German and some Chinese (Mandarin)
3. Ages of the children: 13 months
4. Language system (OPOL, ML@H or any other method): Mostly OPOL (I think!)

Forum: Your Questions -- General

My boy doesn't use my lingo!

Maja — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:18:37 GMT

I am probably panicking too early but I can't help it. My boy is 19months old and from the start I have spoken polish to him and my husband English. I am a stay at home mum and therefore my little one is more exposed to my language then English. However, we do go to quite few mum and toddler groups and most of my friends are English. I speak English inform of him but never to him regardless to where we are.

But now he started talking and from saying few polish words it went too all English. I understand that polish is more difficult to pronounce then English but I am now panicking he will have a blockage speaking polish in the future. I just read so much about children developing a block in speaking one language or another.

He understands everything i say to him but he ll just use the English words he recently learned and not the polish. Am I panicking without a reason or should I do introduce more polish around him!? Should I maybe pretend I don't understand what he is saying to me? At the moment when he says door I say yes that's 'dzwi' (in polish).

What is the best approach? and ll he learn the difference between the two or will he always just choose the easier language??

Maja

Forum: Your Questions -- General

Tri Lingos

Jose — Thur, 18 Feb 2010 20:33:31 GMT

Hi all

so much info could read all yet so will tell you all my case .

We soon to be parents I am Brazilian so native Portuguese speaker and my wife is Polish .

I don't speak Polish and she does not speak Portuguese .

We speak English to each other so I will only speak in PT with the boy and she will only PL .

What is the best way to teach English to the baby once he will be expose to English a lot when we speak with each other all the time .

Thanks for your advices

Forum: Family Language Systems

Native English Speaker Speaking ONLY Italian @ Home to Child w/ Support & Participation of Spouse Who Is Italian by Heritage But Barely Speaks It!

Stacy — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:49:28 GMT

This may be old hat to a lot of you out there, but this is my first time on this site, and I can't believe there are other people out there going through this!  For the longest time, I have felt TOTALLY alone in this crazy venture, namely, speaking a language (Italian) that is neither my native language (English), nor the community language (English) to my daughter.

Everything I've read on this site about people trying to discourage one from this venture is only too true, and it does not help one persevere in what is already an incredibly difficult undertaking.

I hope you all will pardon me for being so effusive, but I can hardly express my excitement at finding a community of people who know what the heck I'm going through and may even be able (I pray) to help me!

Here's the situation: My husband and I are both speaking Italian almost exclusively to our daughter at home, but neither of us is a native speaker. I am conversationally fluent and improve (I hope) weekly through daily verb, vocabulary, and culture/usage practice using books, videos, and other teaching materials. Therefore, I am comfortably able to speak only Italian to my daughter. My husband is much less fluent, primarily because he has not made a concerted effort to increase his skills; although he is incredibly supportive of my efforts, he speaks English to me and Italian only as often as possible to my daughter (i.e., he speaks English when he can't communicate the subject matter in Italian).

My husband's mother, who was born and raised in Italy, didn't migrate to this country until her mid-20s, so Italian is her first language. Her husband was not supportive of speaking Italian to the children, and it was also just too hard for her back then, so she spoke English.  Although the children did go to Italy for about 2 months almost every year of their childhood, and so grew up feeling connected to the language and culture, nonetheless, they cannot speak it.

Similarly, my own mother was born and raised in Japan. She, too, migrated to this country in her 20s, so Japanese is her first language, yet she ended up speaking only English to her kids. What was more, we did not visit that country or communicate with relatives much at all, and so grew up very disconnected from the language and culture.

When my husband and I decided to have kids, I determined that one way or another, I was going to make sure they were given the ability to speak the languages of their cultural origins so that they would not be detached from their heritage. Because my husband's mother is nearby (and therefore can regularly reinforce the language) and because my husband has close ties to Italy, I chose Italian first.

This required me to learn the language from the ground up. I have been able to manage it (but just!) by starting before my daughter was born and then speaking only that language to her every since. I carry dictionaries with me everywhere so that when new words come up, I can learn them and teach them to her. I have sought out Italian playgroups, cultural centers, stores, movies, television, and books. I even translated every single book she's ever received word by word into Italian! And I study every day.

Do I sound nuts? I feel that way! A lot of the time this undertaking feels too big for me.  It is a constant, evolving process that requires daily effort and practice and has taken total commitment from day one. Are there others out there doing this successfully? If so, please share! I need the affirmation!

Finally, did I mention we're considering enrolling our daughter in a German-immersion pre-school next year and German-immersion elementary school thereafter? Well, friends, yes, we are! Not least because that elementary school is one of the best schools in our entire part of the state.

Not surprisingly, perhaps, I have additional concerns about this development. I studied German for many years in high school and at university, but to say I'm rusty is putting it mildly. I'm willing to re-educate myself in order to facilitate my daughter's success and happiness. But am I insane? Will it be too much for her? Too much for me? Has anyone else done this? Help!

Forum: Non-native Speakers

Mother Speaking Two ML@H - Successful Practices?

Elitza — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:32:22 GMT

Hello everyone!
Reading the posts on this board has truly helped me learn a lot about multilingualism and see how different families raise bi-, tri-, and multi-lingual children. However, I have not found yet a situation similar to ours. I am a native speaker of Bulgarian, my husband is a native speaker of English. We live in an English-speaking community (US). I also speak Czech and Italian. My husband and I speak English to each other; he speaks English to our son and occasionally Bulgarian. My son's grandparents speak to him naturally in Bulgarian - currently, through video-conferencing on daily basis for no more than 30 minutes, but he will have a chance to spend at least three months a year in Bulgaria with them. Since he was born (now he is six months old), I have been using both Italian and Bulgarian to talk, read, and sing to him. I have not established a specific pattern in the usage of both languages - I use them depending on the mood or on the book or cartoon that we are looking at. I have plenty of media and materials in Italian but am worried that my son will not have enough exposure to the language. My question to the community is if you think that he will end up confusing both minority languages and not speaking either. What is the pattern I should adopt in order to give him a chance to develop at least basic competences in one of them and a fluency in the other?

Thank you!
Elitza

Forum: Family Language Systems

will i confuse my 3.5 month old baby? What is the best solution?

anika — Thur, 04 Feb 2010 11:23:03 GMT

Hi,
I am polish, my husband is spanish and we live in UK. We communicate in english.
Since my son was born i decided not to talk to him in my native (polish) language and use only english. My husband has been speaking to him in spanish. Now, after doing some research i realized that it would be better for my son's future if he speaks all three languages so i would like to start talking to him in polish. However i am a bit worried if it is not too late to do that? Is there a chance that i will confuse my baby if suddenly i switch to polish?

Or maybe it is better if i carry on with english and than introduce polish language when he is 3yo or so (when he is fluent with english? What is better? Please help me as i am really not sure what i should do.

Thank you

Forum: Your Questions -- General

TEACHING READING ~ ANY IDEAS?

RF — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 11:52:29 GMT

Hello. I am a Greek woman, living in the UK & expecting my first child. My husband's British but he's currently learning Greek, as well.

We have already decided to go OPOL in order that our child grows up bilingual in Greek and English.

My query regards learning to read. I was taught to read Greek (in Greece, where I grew up) using the Doman method. I could read by 18 months. It helped me enormously in my education and I'd like to do the same for my baby.

But the question is: do I start him/her reading Greek or English?

On the one hand, English is the language s/he will use at school, so there is sense in teaching that language first.

On the other hand, I'm going to be the parent speaking to him/her in Greek. The dad works full time so he won't have enough time for daily flashcard practice, etc. in English.

So what do I do? Teach English first? Greek first? Both at the same time? Anyone tried this?...

Bear in mind, please, for those of you not aware: English is far harder to read than Greek. Greek is quite hard to spell, but reading it (passively) can be learnt very easily. And of course a reminder that we use the Greek alphabet.

I'd welcome your advice. If you need to contact me privately, you can reach me at chanohana@hotmail.com

Many, many thanks!

RF

Forum: Your Questions -- General